Fighting the Bull
I recently had the challenge of attending an Okinawan bullfight. My advance information held that fight would start at noon, and admission was 1000 yen per person.
When I awoke that rainy Sunday, I began wondering if the bullfight would even be held that day. I decided to play it safe and go. Safe, yes, dry, no.
When I arrived at the stadium, I saw no cars or evidence of any activity. I stopped at the food truck and asked in Japanese, "Where is the bullfight"? The lady answered with sign language - holding up her fingers like bull horns in question. I answered hai, continuing my attempt at conversation in Japanese. She pointed up a small hill to my left. (I later realized that I never need my Japanese to ask my question. So much for my conversational Japanese lessons!)
I have spent the last 4 days or so revamping this website, setting up newsletters and generally farting around with it all. I am a web designer/developer but my energy has been solely devoted to my Zen Cart work for a very long time. I've always had a blog of my own: I actually now have three of my own! Up 'til now I simply haven't had time or the desire to play around with the sites very much.
I have installed blogs for clients but I really discourage using an additional script on a website with Zen Cart and most of my clients are Zen Cart users. I have time to play and man, has it been fun! There's been so little fun this last year - well, the last 4 years so this is just a major change. 
I really am very glad that I discovered these smart crutches. I got them in September as it was getting colder here in Maine. I immediately started looking for a way to tote things around like a cell phone as a purse just wasn't working out - throws off the balance and can bang the crutches. 
I have my own share of bad cop stories. This phenomenon is not new. My most direct bad cop story is about a friend of mine who drove from Valdosta, GA, to New Orleans in the early 70s. Sheryl was a long-haired hippy about my size; we all were hippies back then at Valdosta State College. As he was driving to Mardi Gras through Alabama, he was stopped by a cop out in a rural area somewhere. He was never charged, just stuck in jail overnight. I do not believe he had broken any laws. 
"All I have is a voice" is a quote from W.H. Auden. I was looking for a pithy way of saying my main thought this morning and stumbled on that quote. It's not just pithy but it is my full truth right now. As my body slowly (and sometimes dang quickly) betrays me, sometimes all I have left is my voice.
I have kept that voice depressed (yes, I have not spoken up as I wanted). Many that know me think all that I am is a voice, a mouthy old lady who just won't shut up. I have kept silent on too many things for way too long. 
I’m no optimist but my pessimist side stays in the background more and more. Recently, it’s been hard to maintain an even keel due to physical issues and then I suddenly realized something yesterday.
I am survivor. In that I keep going no matter what happens. I find it hard to believe life has to be this hard forever, but I’m not optimistic that it won’t either. So really not an optimistic or pessimist. I believe those labels are detrimental to our well-being even if you include realism as a third option. Instead, let’s talk about how you act on the feelings you have. 
Medical Impostor Syndrome. Yup, that’s me. I’ve never reached enough success to claim I have the impostor syndrome where one may have “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success”. But I do have it in a way that’s impacted how I proceed in my medical journey. I have medical impostor syndrome (with kinks).
There are four key factors to impostor sydrome: