Humor columns written in 1978-79 for Okinawa Passtime – the English TV guide for us Americans.

Fighting the Bull

I recently had the challenge of attending an Okinawan bullfight. My advance information held that fight would start at noon, and admission was 1000 yen per person. When I awoke that rainy Sunday, I began wondering if the bullfight would even be held that day. I decided to play it safe and go. Safe, yes, dry, no. When I arrived at the stadium, I saw no cars or evidence of any activity. I stopped at the food truck and asked in Japanese, "Where is the bullfight"? The lady answered with sign language - holding up her fingers like bull horns in question. I answered hai, continuing my attempt at conversation in Japanese. She pointed up a small hill to my left. (I later realized that I never need my Japanese to ask my question. So much for my conversational Japanese lessons!)

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Exercising – Okinawan Style

After several months’ observation of the exercise habits of Okinawans, American and native, I’ve come up with a list of do’s and don’ts for the partici­pants and the spectators: The primary rule-ichiban-is to ignore the weather, especially the rain. All sports can and do continue when the rain begins no matter what the temperature.

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The Okinawan Detour

Just recently I remarked to a newcomer that the jam-up American traffic jam does not occur here on Okinawa. I went on to say that traffic moves slowly at times, but I had never seen it come to a total halt. I had an adventure this week which led me to revise my thinking on Okinawan traffic. It's called the "Okinawan detour." Riding along a busy four lane recently, I…

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Driving

Every so often I get to comparing driving a car here on Okinawa to what I was used to back in the States. The usual car is rather small compared to our average American car. My son, in fact, calls them "race cars" and he has a point. Quite often I feel like I'm in the Indy 500. I'm not saying we drive fast here, Mama, actually compared to 1-75…

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The Circus

A couple of weeks ago I foolishly told my son about the circus with the elephants, lions, clowns, the smell of popcorn, hot dogs and cotton candy. He was excited about the idea, (so was I!) and I promised him we would go. The first objective was to buy ticket - a nerve racking experience. The Thursday before, I attempted to buy them at the USO on base. "Sorry, all…

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Phones

Your request for the phone number in our new home made me take a moment to reflect on the "phones" here on Okinawa. I'm sorry, Mama, but we have no phone. Not only that but we won't be able to get a phone off base. "What no phones?" I know it sounds un-American and even foolhardy, but to install a phone is to invite financial ruin (in­stallation costs one arm,…

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Okinawan Cherry Blossum Festival

Note: this was the first column; I took over an existing column named Dear Mother.  At the time I had no idea I could do humor! Despite a dismal morning recently, we decided to brave the Nago Cherry Blossom Festival. For those unfamilar with the rock, Nago City lies nestled in the "Mountains" (you know, towering hulks at 1,000 ft.!)  on the northern end of the island. Rushing along our…

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