We are all breathing a sigh of relief that the pandemic is fading - at least for the moment. As things return to normal and I reflect on what this last year has meant, I've come to some unfortunate realizations that require action. Both my husband and I are disabled and senior. In neither case are our disablities a part of aging so we are doubly "blessed"! When everything shutdown,…
I really am very glad that I discovered these smart crutches. I got them in September as it was getting colder here in Maine. I immediately started looking for a way to tote things around like a cell phone as a purse just wasn't working out - throws off the balance and can bang the crutches.
"All I have is a voice" is a quote from W.H. Auden. I was looking for a pithy way of saying my main thought this morning and stumbled on that quote. It's not just pithy but it is my full truth right now. As my body slowly (and sometimes dang quickly) betrays me, sometimes all I have left is my voice. I have kept that voice depressed (yes, I have not spoken up as I wanted). Many that know me think all that I am is a voice, a mouthy old lady who just won't shut up. I have kept silent on too many things for way too long.
Having the world slow down and turn to mostly online interactions only, I found this new world to be a mixed blessing. As my physical issues have increased over the past 5 years, it's been increasingly harder for me to get out and about easily. I'm also basically an introvert as well so withdrawing into semi-isolation is quite normal for me. Then came COVID-19. And my social life picked up.
These troubled times are highlighting problems that even I was ignoring. I’ve had trouble shopping for years and with my new crutches, I’m better able to get in and choose what I want but then have issues because I can’t manage a shopping cart on crutches. ‘Tis a frustrating issue that’s turned in to a much larger dilemma. Now we can’t even be safe walking into a store. We are both at-risk seniors, meaning we’re home until this improves.
I’m no optimist but my pessimist side stays in the background more and more. Recently, it’s been hard to maintain an even keel due to physical issues and then I suddenly realized something yesterday. I am survivor. In that I keep going no matter what happens. I find it hard to believe life has to be this hard forever, but I’m not optimistic that it won’t either. So really not an optimistic or pessimist. I believe those labels are detrimental to our well-being even if you include realism as a third option. Instead, let’s talk about how you act on the feelings you have.
Medical Impostor Syndrome. Yup, that’s me. I’ve never reached enough success to claim I have the impostor syndrome where one may have “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success”. But I do have it in a way that’s impacted how I proceed in my medical journey. I have medical impostor syndrome (with kinks). There are four key factors to impostor sydrome: