Look Ma. I’m on Steroids!

The good news is the medical establishment has come up with some answers for me and my neck/shoulder problem. One of the answers – steroid injections. And, yes, I am, at least for the moment, relatively pain free. The bad news is – the steroid injections.

The steroid side effects are many and have made my life very exciting recently…

So you know you’re on steroids (and, therefore, no longer have use of your brain):

When physical labor for 12 hours straight is the only way to avoid a panic attack;

When that physical labor includes gardening without brains, gloves or skin protection (I don’t see any poison ivy, do you?);

When that gardening takes place BEFORE the poison ivy/oak leafs out;

When the resulting case of poison ivy ends up requiring more steroids (oral) to prevent a full body breakout;

When normal impatience with those #%&@ drivers leads to abnormal road rage;

When the mouth won’t stop running;

When one’s vocal level increases about 25%;

When you have a fight with your husband who you never fight with;

When the need to itch and the need to keep moving result in many weird, private gyrations;

When you are unable to focus long enough to get started on a task;

When writing columns requires more word and sentence formation than possible;

When any waiting at a retail store is too much, leading to leaving and never accomplishing anything;

When you become incredibly articulate;

When you become unable to talk;

When you fall (literally) into the Chamber of Commerce meeting as if you were drunk;

When you feel super human one day and helpless the next;

When your mouth offends people (is that new?);

When housekeeping sounds like fun;

When murder seems to be an acceptable answer to your problems;

When you get too much done and run out of stuff to keep you busy;

And when time spent with a 13 year old and a 3 year old is absolutely the most fun you’ve had in months.

Once I get back to normal in a couple of weeks or so, then maybe Oglethorpe County will find out who I really am. I mean, I will get back to normal, won’t I? Oh, dear, but what is the definition of normal any way?